


Epic Doctor Girlboss

by DoctorGirlboss



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Character Death, Gen, M/M, Medical stuff, Murder Mystery, Yanderes - Freeform, he likes my writing, hi im friends with the author of amish eichi, nagisa says some weird stuff but i like him, nun!shu, puritan!keito
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26654755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorGirlboss/pseuds/DoctorGirlboss
Summary: After a tragedy, Dr. Girlboss and her gang of pathetic men begin working at a local school.
Relationships: Aoba Tsumugi & Original Female Character, background Keito/Kuro, hasumi keito & original female character
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	1. Fire! At the Hospital

**Author's Note:**

> im an actual doctor i promise

Dr. Girlboss sighed and poked at the ashes of the hospital “well that’s not good” she said

“the door is still standing though” Keito kicked the door that he had locked behind them

The door fell back and landed on the ground and ashes flew everywhere and it was super gross and everyone coughed a lot

“oh no:;; the hosiptak this was fotr my itnertnship;;;” tsumugi sobbed

“Ow” was muffled under the door

Keito scoffed and adjusted his glasses “the person who got squished by the door shouldnt have been behind the door”

“we should still move the door though” dr girlboss said

Tsumugi attempted to move the door but completely failed and fell back and landed on his backside but he had just had an ass reduction surgery so he hit the ground super hard and his bones practically shattered 

“WAH WAH” tsumugi cries and writhes on the ground like a lame little worm

Dr girlboss tried to move the door and did it really easily the door wasnt even that heavy tsumugi just isnt strong

Nagisa has been squished by the door and well he’s just laying there

Keito adjusts his glasses and the glare shone on it and it was super bright 

“he should’ve run faster to get out like the rest of us” he sneered as his cat ears twitched. If he had a cat tail it would be lashing back and forth but he doesn’t have one 

“he looks like flat stanley” dr girlboss said

“d d do you have an diagnosis dr girlbooss whats going toballen tk him;;” tsumugi sniffled from his place in the ground

dr girlboss poked Nagisa with the tip of her shoe “well it seems like he’s in agony”

A cruddy little minivan rolled up to the hospital and the two teachers climbed out of the minivan and walked over

Akiomi stride over and looked at Nagisa “why what’s all this”

Jin crouches down “he looks like uhh” he looks at Akiomi “what does he look like”

“I don’t know” Akiomi rolls his eyes

Keito shook his head at them and crossed his arm then looked down as tsumugi sadly tugged at the cuffs of his pants. he helped the assless chap to his feet and thought about knocking him back down then didnt

Dr girlboss stepped forward pushing tsumugi back to the ground in the process where he cried again

“Flat Stanley!” She declares “he looks like flat Stanley”

Everyone applauds because she’s really smart (she’s a doctor in education btw)

“Anyway what do we do now that the hospital is burned down? I really needed these volunteer hours to make up for the fact that I murdered a teacher” Keito adjusted his glasses like a really smart person

“We could have you come work as a doctor at our school!” Jin stops slav squatting and looks at dr girlboss

“Sure” she says

They all climb into the run down minivan and drive to the school except for Nagisa he got left behind then blown away by the wind (A/n: he’s as thin as a piece of paper)


	2. Official Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jin almost crashes the car oh god

It was a epic drive on the way over at first Jin was driving but then he fell asleep at the wheel. we didnt notice until tsumugi wa s freaking about over it and it was annoying and keito silenced him then akiomi noticed it

“Oh shit we are going to crash” he said and didnt try to get the wheel to keep us form crashing he has some sort of vendetta against jin idk 

Dr girlboss leaned forward and grabbed the wheel and prevented the shitty little mini van from getting into an accidents. everyone clapped again even tsumugi even though he was silenced by keito

Dr girlboss guided the minivan to the side of the road perfectly without crashing it

Akiomi jabed jin in the side “wake up queer” he hissed coolly

“Huh? Are we here?” jin looked around

Dr Girlboss had akiomi switch spots with jin. Akiomi only hit one kid on the way to the school (a/n: he did it on purpose)

“Well this is the school” Akiomi says as he pulls up to yumenosaki

Everyone climbs out of the van including tsumugi (A/N: he isnt silenced anymore its ok). But jin is still in the minivan because he is asleep

“You. where is nagisa?” ibara, the catboy-for-hire, points at tsumugi

Tsumugi starts to cry and snivels and its pathetic but in an endearing way “iii dont know he was there and then keito turned him in to a piece of paper and it waasas so schatry;;; i;m sos osrry ibara i odnt now where he flew off to”

Keito flicks his ear in disgust bc tsumugi totally threw him under the bus

Ibara looks like he might attack them but then someone else came up! It was dr girlboss’s catboy wrangler (a/n: hes not a catboy himself hes just good at everything) yuzuru 

Dr girlboss observed. “Yuzuru you’re all dusty, and so is ibara. Were you two fighting again.” she geniusly deducts 

“It looks like your Nagisa has flown away with the wind. It is a shame. My young master would never be reduced to such a fate.” Yuzuru sweeps his hair away from his eyes. With a few brushes of his hand, he removes most of the dust from his outfit. “It wasn’t an actual fight. Ibara just made some outrageous claims.”

“Shut up now i’m going to find nagisa.” ibara ran off on all fours.

Keito scoffs at the display. He’s a proper catboy and so he doesnt scamper on all fours ever he’s better than that “I hope that nagisa got swept up into a jet turbine and turned into red confetti.”

“It would give me good business but it’d be too bad i don’ t know if i would be able to restore his cat ears if he’s in such a state” dr girlboss says then looks around “Do i get an office or what”

“Ok so about that” Akiomi starts

Jin finally wakes up and tries to get out to the left of the car bc he thought he was still driving and he accidentally hits the car out of brake and it rolls away really fast

“Oh can you go get that Yuzuru” Dr. Girlboss asks him

Yuzuru adjusts his tie. “Of course, Dr. Girlboss. It shall only take a few minutes, as to ensure that I’ll be back in time to help Young Master make his way home.” With those words, he took off running. He wore a small smile on his face. It seemed that the chase was reminding him of the hunt that he desired so greatly.

Akiomi turned back to the group. “Ok anyway. So like we cant hire you but the other nurse isnt going to come anymore so its first come first served to who gets the office so youd better hurry”

“Is that all?” keito got his bow and arrow ready for just in case someone else was trying to get the office

“Well ok thats not it. Also jin and i went broke and we need a place to stay. The nurse place has three rooms, so we decided that if you get the job we’d ask if we can live there” akiomi tells dr girlboss

She nodded “Yeah sounds legit” she then starts running to get to her new office. Tsumugi and keito keep pace keito because he is just that good and tsumugi because hes not weighed down by having a dumptruck attached to his backside anymore

Dr girlboss observes some catpeople as she runs, but doesnt have time to dwell on it. They all get to her new office and are shocked to see two people already inside

“Dont worry ill handle this” keito scoffs and draws his bow

“Ooioioi” is heard from the darkness

“Wait….ohh is that,.,..no way...you canjht justak shoot old people keito” tsumugi whines

Keito frowns and his cat ears twitch in annoyance “shut up tsumugi ive already calculated his age in my head. He’s 18-19”

“Ooioioi” the mysterious person continues to cry and dr girlboss steps forward

She squnts at the shadow and says “aree you a patient”

“Yes he is. We need help because we both have a terrible disease and we need a genius doctor to fix this for us” rei says “ooioioi”

it’s….Rei and Hana!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hana and rei die (but not really)

“Whoa what happened here” dr girlboss looks at the scene

Hana is passed out and dead on the ground of the office well its one of the other but dr megs girlboss isnt a medical doctor so shes not sure which one it is. rei is acting like she is dead so dr girlboss just assumes that she is dead

“Ooioioi” rei leans over the body and continues to sob “i am an awful maid grandpa..” 

Then all of a sudden rei passes out too!!

“Wahhh!” tsumugi jumps, his cat eats standing up tall “he;s..,.,.,hes died!!!!”

Keito shakes his head at the pathetic cat boy and points. “Look theyre both breathing. Do better”

“H h how do you know whow t o identity a daead body..,” tsumugi worried

Dr girlboss had written them both off as dead but acted like she hadnt actually done that and had known that they were both alive and stuff

“Ohh, is the doctor in?” a voice came from down the hallway. An earless catboy walked in from the hallway where the rooms were...it was kaoru, the resident school whore!

Keito hissed at the new arrival but i guess it wasnt actually a new arrival because he had been there for a while. Kaoru preened and didnt really care about his reputation and played it up in an epic way. There was a good chance that the callout that had been written about kaoru was due to a certain puritan in the room

“Yeah hi im dr. megs girlboss and im in change here now” she declared and watched kaoru

He walked into the room and pointed at the unconscious couple on the ground “they have an undiagnosed illness and i think theyre dead now. Koga didnt help me carry them here so i had to get adonis to help me but yeah they look kinda dead to me. Its fine though i think this means that ill get hana’s inheritance. Shes rich you know”

“So like what are they sick from” dr girlboss asked. The resident whore shrugged and sat down and definitely man spread. Keito attacked him and nkocked him off the chair that he was sitting on while tsumugi stared at the not-dead bodies

Dr girlboss looked at kaoru as he was being mauled and shook her head “well we wont get any information on them. Tsumugi youre probably popular go call someone who would know these two people”

Tsumugi sniveled “nu uh;; im srorry dr girl boss.,..ihwth my lassat call out;;;” 

Dr girlboss thought for a moment but not about what problematic things that tsumugi got called out for and assumed that it was probably due to something pathetic. She then snapped her fingers in a genius way

She pointed at the door just as Akiomi walked in “hey glasses teacher i need to know if you know about the callouts here”

“Yes i do i read them every morning to see who i get to give an F to that day” he said and walked past her to get the other rooms so that he can choose which one is his because jin is still rolling away out on the highway or something like that

“Tsumugi get me water im thirsty” dr girlboss demanded

Tsumugi walked over to the sink and got a cup “r r right awyu dr girlbosps i wont let you down” he sobbed sadly and filled the cup with water and started walking over to the two deadish bodies on the ground and he tripped over his feet (a bit pathetic) and spilled the water on the faces of the happy unconscious couple

“Oooioioi” rei woke up as he was half drowned by the useless catboy. The catboys glasses were knocked off and he laid on the ground and cried. Dr girlboss pointed at the ex-maid catboy

“What were your other symptoms you old man” she doesnt bother to act slowly because shes convinced that rei and hana will die within the next few minutes in fact she tells him that “if you dont let me know youll die in like three minutes”

“I wont die here because of my twins...ooioioi...ive been dizzy and struggle breathing when i stand up and also im a vampire if that helps” rei looked at the doctor

Dr girlboss nodded and looked it up “ok well i dont think that youre a vampire”

“Did you know that i drink tomato juice. It was awful i had a low supply of it back when i was in the war--” rei continues to speak but everyone just drowns him out including hana shes unconscious but shes drowning him out too

“Yeah uh it looks like anemia. It makes sense because youre a vampire i guess so you need iron from blood or whatever but idk whats up with hana” dr girlboss glances up from her phone

“Oh its bc im epic and im connected with rei” hana is awake now and tells dr girlboss

“Oh ok” dr girlboss digs through the cupboards and finds a piece of paper “yeah ill write my diagnosis” 

She writes for a long time on the paper then throws the paper out and tries again and then tries again then looks over at the group “uhhh i cant get the doctor handwriting down. Just buy some iron supplements”

“Ok dr girlboss” hana says as rei cries on her going oooioioi

Keito stops viciously mauling kaoru “i thought that the callouts were going to be relevant to this” he adjusted his glasses then took them off and cleaned them and put them back onto his face

“It’s called foreshadowing” she scoffs “i thought you were a pathetic catboy wrangler not a pathetic catboy yourself”

Keito hangs his head in shame and if he had a cat tail it would be hanging between his legs as well because he was so ashamed

“Meow. ill go buy those iron supplements now!” kaoru gets up and scampers out (A/N: he has hana’s credit card btw)

Jin limps in “Dr girlboss! I’m in pain and i need to be cured because of how the car rolled down the interstate in a not great way”

Dr girl boss gets to work to fix all of the bones that were broken on the left side of his body. She looks at tsumugi as she works “you managed to revive the dead so i could get their diagnosis. Youll be my special nurse. Keito go find him some scrubs”

Keito went to search for nurse clothes for the pathetic cat boy. However there arent many so he just grabs the nurse dress and throws it at the sniveling boy. “Use that”

Everyone in the room clapped for dr girlboss again because she was a genius as alwaus

Soon the news of how they have an awesome doctor on campus spreads around. Dr girlboss is here to stay, her doctorate of education hung up proudly on her wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont trust dr girlboss and keito i dont foreshadow


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shu is a nun

Dr girlboss came into her office and saw jin brushing his teeth in her sink while akiomi sat on the couch and scrolled on his laptop. She looked at the two men “oh hi to my queer dad and my queer step dad” she said and the two men looked at each other

“Oh ok im the dad” akiomi said

Jin looked at him and his mouth was like :3 but this is because he was upset but was hiding it like a boss “well youre allowed to think what you want queer step dad”

Dr megs girlboss sat down at her desk as the two men fought but they eventualyl had to leave and go to their gross classrooms that would have students inside of them later (a bit disgusting) and dr girlboss just sat and waited for the arrival

“Ah, good morning, Doctor. Are you in here already?” Yuzuru took a moment to poke his head in, then walked in. He set the package on the ground and spared a glance towards the skilled doctor as he opened it. “Would you like me to set the contents up for you?”

“Nah” dr girlboss said

He stood up and lowered his head out of respect, then politely vacated her office. 

Dr girlboss walked over to the package and took the stuff out but it was like ikea level of hard so she kinda just gave up and went back to her desk. She practiced having awful handwriting so she could pass off as an actual doctor which she was but just not one of medicine shes just super smart and knows how google works so everyone thinks shes super skilled and knows what to do all the time

During her lunch break tsumugi walked in already wearing his nurse uniform but it was shorter than it had been when he got it the day before and he was crying (again). Dr girlboss shook her head and decided that one day she would experiment on him to find out how he managed to keep making tears at such a fast rate and until then she would just decide that hes just some sort of alien being or whatever

“Dr girlboss” he sniveled “my asss jashkd shkgjkhHFWAKehkghea”

She stared at him as he went from crytyping outloud to just making scary noises that she didnt understand and she was pretty sure that he was actually an alien

“Ya hwat is it tsumugi im a very busy woman” she said as she closed out of solitaire 

“It grwewaj bsck my ass is back abnd its as fat at ever” tsumugi sobbed and laid on the floor his ears flat with sadness dr girlboss got up and walked over

“Well turn on your side and ill check it out for you because im the only doctor here” she let him know and he managed to roll onto his side but it was hard because his ass wanted to stay down like when you drop an object and the heavier side is the part that hits the ground it was like that because of his dumptruck 

“It certainly has grown back” she remarked as she rubbed her chin and mentally said “wow there is something wrong with this guy”

“Whwhwhy wouldh you saytgy that;;;;” tsumugi sobbed on the floor and she realized that she hadnt actually said it mentally but it wasnt like it wasnt something that tsumugi had heard before because it was just the truth 

Suddenly the door opened and in walked two people one was a harlot in denial and the other was a nun chaser and the harlot looked like he had a cold

“Hi my name is Hy--” the nun chaser started but dr girlboss interrupted it “sorry i have to make a call”

She picked up her cell phone and made a call “hiiii keito i need you to come over. No you dont need to bring your bow and arrow. Yeah i guess you can if you want. Yea it looks like i have someone in here who is about to cough and you know what that means” she then hung up the phone

“Anyway ill treat you if you set that up for me” she pointed at the furniture box

“Non! I dont need treatment so im not going to do any physical labor” the weird catholic who was named shu crossed his arms at her

Hyde started to set it up while dr girlboss called shu a idiet and also a cheese eating surrender monkey. He was so offended that he seemed to be considering saying things but hes a man of god so he just didnt and instead he took out a bottle and poured something on his hand and rubbed it on his throat

“Uhm what is that” dr girlboss took the bottle and looked at it “WTF this is essenital oils. You know these don’t work right”

From his pathetic spot on the ground tsumugi still clapped for dr girlboss because shes a genius no matter what. Hyde finished setting up the small colorful plastic table and three chairs. Tsumugi moved over to it and sat down even though the chair made a scary noise under him as it almost collapsed but it managed to hold his weight. The harlot let out a soft sob as he came to terms with the fact that he would never be an assless chap

“I don’t need any treatment because i pray to god and he fixes my illnesses” shu let her know but dr girlboss knew better and shook her head at him “well i know that’s not true because youre still french”

Sister shu moved forward to try and kill her but hyde held him back (it was laughing though) and shu was yelling so hyde called him the f slur (a/n: frog) and shu got even more offended. Dr girlboss just played a game of solitaire while she waited. Tsumugi even managed to stop crying while the two were arguing. Eventually they stopped and tsumugi had to tell dr girlboss bc honestly she had stopped listening 

“Ok uh im a doctor and i think you have like a cold so. Stay home and go home so no one hears you coughing. You should know that people who hear coughing try to give impromptu lobotomies” dr girlboss wrote a note and handed it to shu 

Shu scoffed at her “i can read this which means youre not an actual--AHH AHH OWW IT HURTS” he collapsed with an arrow sticking out of his calf “AHH YOU DAMN QUACK QHAT IS THIS” he then quickly said a repentance prayer even though he didnt actually mean it

“You should try to pray the arrow out i think it’d be epic if it worked” dr girlboss said and almost went back to get came of solitaire but he grabbed her leg and for a second he considered murdering her but gave up

“Ok you win you should remove this from my calf but i wont pay you because it’d god who sent me here to get the surgery done” he said and dr girlboss didnt care anymore bc the little homo was bugging her and she did the quick process of removing it because keito would probably just kill shu for being an annoying catboy (keito has an euthanization license so it’s legal)

“Thanks dr girlboss you have a lot of swag for this” Hyde told her and she nodded along and had hyde write it down so she could add it to her official reviews. Hyde then took its religious friend home where no one could hear him cough because he would get swarmed if anyone heard it

Dr girlboss patted tsumugi’s head and was about to go back to ‘work’ when Keito finally came in and he looked at dr girlboss “i hope this makes up for me being pathetic the other day”

“Yeah sure im glad you shot him” dr girlboss was happy that the ordeal was over. She was prepared to hear the clapping...but then! 

Kuro walked in and gavee keito a kiss on the forehead!

“How is my little demisexoid?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keito gets sent away

“Who is this” dr girlboss crosses her arms

Kuro waved to her and gave her a big ole smile as if he wasnt trying to steal her pathetic catboy wrangler “heyo im kuro and im keitos qpp anyway i think my arm is bleeding because soumer hit it with his sword but it was an accident though”

“Ill speak with souma myself” keito adjusted his glasses and they got the epic anime glint (A/N: dont worry though he wont hurt souma bc souma is their son he’s just a little silly sometimes he’s just going to talk to him)

Dr girlboss sat back at her desk and shook her head at Keito who is apparently ‘demi’ (whatever that means) “uhm Kuro can we like have a moment”

Kuro gives two thumbs up even though his arm is bleeding a lot “yeah I gotcha doc I’ll be right out side ok call me in when I can be fixed up” he steps outside and she looks at Keito and he looks at her and Tsumugi is just sitting there 

“Why are you in love” she asks and he sighed

Keito adjusts his glasses then takes his glasses off and cleans them and then puts his glasses on then adjusts them then pushes them up the bridge of his nose and adjusts them

“im going to tell you a secret” he sits on the spare chair and folds his fingers together staring straight ahead. he forgot that Tsumugi is there but don’t worry Tsumugi forgot too

“I’m love kuro” he admits. Dr girlboss almost gasps but then remembers that she knows everything and didn’t think he had a crush until like 2 minutes ago so it didn’t even matter

“Ok cool” she starts to type in her computer that actually works

“I Am tired of this storyline.” Dr girlboss announces. Keito raises his hands and is about to ask for forgiveness then dr girlboss stands up “i heard a story actually”

the story is from the English enstars wiki btw

“I heard that you’re yandare Keito” she points accusingly “i thiught you were Puritan”

Keito puts a hand on the Red Bull he always keeps by his side and looks at dr girlboss “uhm” he says eloquently 

“so Keito is yandare”? Tsumugi taps ish chin in wonder

“I’m not like that any more i am reformed” keitos imaginary cat tail tucks between his legs (A/N: these catboys should have tails I think but they only have ears)

“oh I thought you were yandare this is disappoint ing” dr girlboss huffs and sits at her desk “i am tired of your little Puritan hat and want you to be something else”

“i can never be yandare again” keito declares

“Oh well I already filled out your application to yandare school” she tells him

Tsumugi claps excitedly for dr girlboss bc this means that dr girlboss predicted the fact that Keito resigned from being yandare ooooo she’s just so smart 

“p please dr girlboss I love my little Puritan hat” Keito was practically begging “I’m a healthy demi puritan you can’t do this to me”

“i need a yandare on my staff and I can’t have it be either of my dads they’ll throw there backs out or something so itll have to be you” she kept writing on the yandare school application

keito tried to think of a way to save hismelf “what about nagisa???”

“nagisa starved to death then got sucked into a jet turbine I think” dr girlboss was unphased (A/N: doctors experience so much loss o7)

Keito didn’t bother to even suggest that Tsumugi could be yandare. Tsumugi technically has the ability to kill but he’d probably turn hismelf in after wards (A/N: not yandare!!!!)

keito sighed and said a little Puritan prayer then nodded. dr girlboss is always right after all so he will go to yandare school 

“can i go tell Kuro” he said sadly. She nodded and he slunk out of the room

Keito was then sent to yandare school

“Well I’m sure he will be ok” Akiomi said, doing his old man stretched as he prepared to go to bed at 8:20 pm

“Mm.” Jin agreed, drinking water

“:;;;: I thinklll I’ll msifsds him ,;;,:,;;” tsumugi sobhes, typing way on his little keyboard

“He’ll be fine.” Dr girlboss declares and everyone claps for her and her genius

Then a knocking sound is louder than the clapping….

Ibara walks in!!!

(On all fours)

And. On his back is a box. 

dr girlboss walks over and opens it

It’s nagisa!!!!!! (a/N: he is all folded up)


	6. i forgot about chapter titles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NAGISA IS BACK

“Oh holy shit” jin is in shock at the scene

Ibara sets nagisa’s box down and looks very smug “well I saved him from being sucked up and shredded by an airplane”

“WAH;;;;;;” Tsumugi makes various noises and it’s slightly scary but mostly pathetic 

Akiomi goes to bed

“Oh ok im here dr girlboss can and will fix this” dr girlboss gets up and tries to crack her knuckles but she never learned how

“I am dr. girlboss and I know everything but cracking my own knuckles is so much work uh tsumugi “ she spoints at the pathetic catboy

“y y uuuuuuu yesss dr,,;, girlboss?” Tsumugi scrambles to his feet though it’s a struggle he is being dragged down by a certain something (he’s ass)

“come pop my knuckles” she holds her hands out and he pulls on her fingers hntil her knuckles pop

She then does various stretches and is concealing the fact that she doesn’t know what to do this is her first rodeo and buster she never went to clown school

“Ok. i will fix this. Now!” She declared. Everyone held their hands out and she pointed “hold the applause” and so everyone held their applause

She picked up nagisa and carried him to the one room that the nurses office had left. there was silence for about 5 minutes then dr girlboss came out looking solemn with blood on her hands

“is he..” ibaba started

“Tsumugi why haven’t you come back to help me yet you’re wearing a nurse dress and everything” dr girlboss rolls her eyes

“OOOOHHH I;;M SOKIO SORTEYR DR GKRILBSOS!!!!” Tsumugi jumps to his feet and rushes into the nurse room with her and she closes the door behind them

“IIIIII” while dr girlboss is with nagisa and Tsumugi in the locked room everyone’s favorite harlot Hiyori came into the office. he’s a tasteful harlot unlike Jin and Kaoru tho

“is Nagisa in here?” He has the 🥺👉👈 expression 

“Quiet Hiyori the Doctor is working” ibara rolls his eyes

If Keito wasn’t at yandare boarding school he would take ibaras mask and snap it against his face in a funny way (A/N: only Ibara is wearing a mask and it is fogging up his glasses) even tho Ibara is right and Keito would’ve agreed right after

“Silence freshie!” Hiyori flips his hair and sparkles 

Everyone then waits in actual silence. Jun comes in at once point but he’s actually respectful of the doctor and everything that she is doing so he does not say any words

Dr girlboss comes out solemnly with blood on her hands and her doctor apron thingie

“I have to say—“  
She began

“NAGISA!!” Hiyori cries

“I have found a solution” she continues ignoring the crying of Hiyori and Jun trying to reassure him

“Oh really?” Hiyori sparkles again and dr girlboss puts on her sunglasses

“Yeah he’s gonna make it I remembered that I can just make transplants from tsumugi. Nagisa is now the size of a normal person” she said

Nagisa then walks out of the operation room!!!

“Nagisa!” His unit members al say

“…God is dead and never cared for his creations.   
…Despite this, I shall achieve heaven.  
…Then, I shall find my throne.   
…Removing a corpse will be the easiest job in my life.” Nagisa says. 

“He’s ok!!’” Hiyori cheers. 

Eden all leaves, Ibara on all fours. 

Dr girlboss sits at her desk again, propping her feet up “well. WAIT. EDEN COME BACK.”

Eden comes back. 

“Well. I did it.” She announces

Everyone claps for dr girlboss!! Even Akiomi even tho he’s asleep. dr girlboss then let’s Eden leave, smiling accomplishedly


	7. Yandere School (chapter 6.5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keito's fun little stint at yandere school

Keito hears his alarm clock going off “no! I’m going to be late to school!!” he jumps out of bed in his yandare dorm. as he rushes past the toaster a piece of toast pops out and he grabs it “oh! Hot hot hot” he tosses it between his hands as he rushes

He holds the corner of it in his mouth and runs into someone on his way to class 

“Oh! I’m sor—“ he looks at who he ran into “no…”

The handsome man he ran into looks at him “Keito?” he asks

Why is Kuro at yandare boarding school?!?!

__________________

Keito’s actual alarm goes off, finishing his dream sequence

“another perfect mark” he picks up his notebook and writes down his dream. Dreaming about who he is yandere for: 100%. 

Keito is the best student at yandare boarding school in over a decade. everyone is impressed, including all the teachers and students

he gets out of bed, getting dressed immaculately. he doesn’t even bother to glance at his funny Puritan hat

He starts to make a breakfast of champions and hears his roommates beginning to wake up and sighs. pathetic Ethan and Bryce walk into the room, frowning and complaining about yandare studies 

“Quiet so I can make breakfast, or I’ll tell Dean **** about this” Keito huffed

**** had graduated from yandare boarding school the decade prior and had some of the highest rankings in the schools history

The two roommate silenced themselves at the true yandare’s warnings

Keito yandare-ishly walked out of the room onc ehe had eating his epic breakfast. the resident catboy maid was outside

“Hello catboy maid” Keito addresses the catboy maid

“Hello Keito” the le epic catboy maid said to him

Keito went on to his next epic yandare class the demi yandare class President is learning his true potential


	8. chaper 7: watar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wataru is dead

“Wah wah;;” 

dr girlboss wakes up to a frightening noise

“Oooo...wah wah wah,;,”

she slowly gets out of bed

“Oooioioi”

are there 2 ghosts??

Dr girlboss rushes to the main part of her office. Rei and Hana are back!!!

Oh and Tsumugi is there cryinf bc he doesn’t know what to do (a/n: a mite pathetic I might add)

“Omg what happened” di girlboss asks instead of immediately identifying the problem (she is still sleepy)

“Mental illness” Hana says

“Ooioioi...wataru my good friend…” Rei cries 

“Dr girlboss is here. Tell me your doctor what happened” she asks a bit unkindly because she was just rudely woken up

“Wataru collapsed at the cafeteria!!!” Hana exclaims (A/N: she doesn’t look took sad about it but she feels sad bc Rei is sad)

Tsumugi struggles to get up from the plastic little baby chair that he often gets stuck in “we sh-,shoulld go, dr , girlboss!!” He whines and cries

“Uh shouldn’t we tell a teacher and or poison control?” Dr girlboss taps her chin (she is oh so deep in thought)

“Wataru is dying” hana says 

“But the tea—“ dr girlboss begins

“My good friend Wataru is dying”

Dr girlboss gives up and rushes to the cafeteria while Tsumugi follows slowly behind her

Akiomi and Jin get to sleep in and dr girlboss will hold it against them forever 

dr girlboss shows up at the cafeteria and Wataru is dead he’s just straight up dead but luckily dr girlboss is showing up. Father Tatsumi is giving the dead blue haired man his last rites

“Oooo it looks like dr girlboss is here” Kaoru is doing a whorish sit on a bench that has two empty spots (Hana and Rei aren’t back yet) “yeah Wataru is dead” he keeps being whorish because luckily Keito the Puritan isn’t there

“…He is gone.” Nagisa nods in agreement. 

Dr girlboss walks over to Wataru and looks at the others at the table and she looks at Yuzuru who is at the table

“Uh whay was he doing before he...you know…” She waves her hand a bit dismissively

Yuzuru sits up straight. “Good morning, Doctor Girlboss.” He bows his head slightly out of respect, then looks directly at the skilled doctor. “He was simply drinking. It seemed to be a non-issue…then he collapsed. I cannot tell you more than that.”

“Ooo ooioioi” is heard as Rei enters the cafeteria with Hana and Tsumugi 

Dr girlboss pokes watarus shoulder and he doesn’t move. she declares

“Who knows this man”

“I know this man” everyone says

“What are his hobbies” she asked and well no one responded they kinda shuffled their feet and looked around awkwardly for a little bit

“He likes to be an actor!” Tomoya hopped ip and said, his little bunny charm thing bouncing cutely “we’re also in ANIMALS together!!”

“Ok uh what was he doing in theater” she asked

“Oh, he’s gonna be Juliet! She dies tho..” he wiped his eyes sadly

“Just like Wataru. Maybe he mixed up his theater class poisons with his drink” Tatsumi offered

“Oh ok” dr girlboss nods “i guess that this is an accidental sewer side”

“…Unless” nagisa begins

“UNLESS somebody murdered him. Who murdered his innocent little queer” dr girlboss demanded

Everyone was silent

“put your hand up if you murdered Wataru” she huffs

mama’s hand starts to go up, but lowers when she specifically mentions Wataru 

“Ok. I’ll start with ANIMALS” she decides

“…What about the theater?  
…They could have sent Wataru to meet his maker.   
…However, there is no way to know which direction his maker is in.   
…I know that I will achieve heaven.” Nagisa monologues I guess is the term 

“Nah I don’t think it’s Tomoya and also I think theater kids are too infp to like kill” dr girlboss says

“Then let;s inv essss WAH this sidjs sscary.,, ok let;/s check ouuti ANIMALLS!” Tsumugi sniffles 

“First, i need to sleep” dr girlboss nods

Subaru raises his hand “Wait! Wait!!! Dr girlboss! I saw it happen!”

“Ok I’ll ask you for more info after I like. nap” dr girlboss says and walks away

The entire cafeteria claps excitedly for their new detective

Though one pair of hands only claps together once, and leaves their hands there, not clapping for the noble doctor…


End file.
